Cheers 5:6: “Tan ‘n’ Wash”

Airdate: 11/6/86

Norm’s accounting acumen impresses everyone at the bar, and perhaps his investment savvy is not far behind. He’s in the know on a new franchise: a combination tanning salon and Laundromat company, and everyone at Cheers wants in on it. Hesitant at first because he feels he’ll be blamed if it goes under, Norm accedes to pressure and starts selling shares right and left, with everyone getting tans (and burns) to help advertise. With a hot Indian summer diminishing profits, the hitherto elated gang of investors is now a mightily unhappy bunch, and they scorn Norm (even not greeting him as he enters the bar). Fed up, he buys out their shares, but when snow hits, and the business turns around, they’rer still mad – this time because he’s making a profit and they’re not. When everyone finally agrees to get along, he lets them in on a secret: he never bought their shares after all, and he hands out dividend checks. Now they’re happy again, until… news reaches Norm that snow caused the ceiling to cave in at “Tan ‘n’ Wash,” and they’re not insured.

Solid up/down, up/down seesaw of comedy, with greed and the foolishness that attends it the theme this week. Diane is dating a dude named Chad, and she thinks it’s driving Sam insanely jealous, but of course, it’s not. Funniest scene: seeing everyone in tans to advertse their business.

Cold open: everyone trades universal dreams they’ve had, except Woody, who announces a specific, extremely bizarre dream involving a restaurant.

Norm’s opener: First: Woody: “Hey, Norm, how’s the world treating you?” Norm: “Like a baby treats a diaper.” Second: (Everyone hates him now so he has to welcome himself) Norm: “How you feeling today, Norm?” Norm: “Rich and thirsty, pour me a beer!”