Cheers 2.9: “They Called Me Mayday”

Airdate: 12/1/83

Dick Cavett walks into a bar… and Diane is agog at his master wit and charm. Her awe is soon shattered when he rebuffs her poetry, instead considering publishing Sam’s life story. She swallows her pride long enough to agree to ghost write a 50-page synopsis that Cavett will use to determine its publishability. The news is not good: Cavett decides it is ably written but lacking the trendy “spice” that is the current rage among bestsellers. His advice, that other publishers might like it if the sex were played up, is enough for Sam and “Jessica Simpson-Bourget” (Diane’s nom de plume) to continue writing.

Norm, still separated from Vera, meets up with an old HS wrestling buddy, Wally Bodell, who learns of the separation and decides to “pay a visit” to Vera. Norm, blasé at first, throws down the gauntlet and challenges Wally to a wresting match – a 7-hour match, it turns out – that ends with Norm victorious and Wally ditching Dodge.

Cavett, in the first full-length guest appearance by a celebrity on the show, is all you’d expect from such a class-act. Fun to see Diane eating humble pie after getting snubbed by her intellectual hero, but not nearly as enjoyable as watching Norm and Wally in a mutual head-leg lock that sort of resembles… well, never mind.

Cold open: Norm, after spending the night at Cheers during his marital estrangement, is too proud to be staying without paying rent. Sam’s offer of a dollar a month is a bit steep, though – how about fifty cents?

Norm’s opener: Norm’s not at the bar, but he emerges after about 5 minutes with a toilet article case – remember, he’s living at the bar!