Cheers 1.17: Diane’s Perfect Date

Airdate: 2/10/83

…or so she thinks! Fed up after a weekend with a man who can tell you the number of letters in a sentence you just uttered, Diane takes Sam up on a deal – to arrange for him the perfect date if he can do the same for her. But Sam narcissistically, and erroneously, suspects Diane will choose herself, and so he chooses no one. When she arrives with a friend who studies the science of bodily movement, he grabs an unsuspecting stranger from the pool room, who turns out to be an ex-con and murderer! After a double date from hell, Sam fesses up, and Diane construes it to mean he’s “carrying a torch” for her. Denial, accusations, and name-calling, oh my!

"Do you ever pretend to have claws
for hands?"

Fun, craftily plotted continuation of the Sam-and-Diane saga: the early years. Both characters’ frailties and foibles are on fine display here, along with two superb supporting performances as the two date stooges: Gretchen Corbet as Gretchen, who plays as sort of a low-key version of Diane, and Derek McGrath as ex-con Andy, who’s about as unhinged as dilapidated barn door. The audience liked him too – notice the applause he gets after his exit.

Cold open: Lunch time: Diane sits down to enjoy her roast beef sandwich, until pregnant Carla arrives to prepare her pimento and sugar-fed anchovies. When Diane darts, Carla steals her sandwich.

Norm’s opener: (Coach: Beer, Norm?) That’s that sudsy amber stuff, right? Yeah, I’ve been hearing good things about it.