Not Your Father's (or Grandfather's) James Bond

Skyfall  **1/2 (out of four)

Ever since the Cold War ended, the producers of the James Bond films have bent over backwards trying to make the character … relevant. After all, no climate for a murderous double agent could’ve been better than a world divided, where brinksmanship all depends on secrecy and espionage. When the Berlin Wall fell in 1989, so did the Bond franchise, and it would be 6 years before the next installment, Goldeneye, hit theatres. The trademarks were back  - the cars, the drinks, the women – but the purpose wasn’t quite there; the villains still wanted to take over the world, but in an uncertain world, where the good and bad had no iron curtain to define them. Yes, Tomorrow Never Dies featured a head-baddie as a deranged Ted Turner-type megalomaniac (perfect for the mid-90s age of round the clock cable news coverage), but it did seem a bit contrived.

When Daniel Craig took over the role in 2006 he had a tall order – to rejuvenate the character, franchise and studio. In a post-9/11 world, the clear threat had to come from rogue-nation terrorism. And now in Skyfall, the 22^nd Bond film, all the ingredients match up with a world that bears all but a slight resemblance to the one inhabited by Sean Connery’s Bond over 40 years ago. Here, gadget inventor Q is a young technophile who briefs Bond on all his newest gadgets like a teenager explaining to his father how the newest i-phone can attach video to a email. Moneypenny is no longer M’s secretary but an agent herself, an African-American female who actually “kills” 007 in the gargantuan pre-credit sequence. And the villain this time is a weird psychopath, in keeping with the modern tendency to make the bad guys less Grand Guignol and more just plain sick, as in Heath Ledger’s Joker from Batman Forever and Hannibal Lechter from The Silence of the Lambs (the latter even more directly copied when Skyfall’s villain is incarcerated in an isolated holding chamber, which of course he escapes from). Oh, and did I mention that he’s also a skilled cyberhacker?

About halfway through, we finally get some of the traditional Bond trademarks: the exotic locales, the Bond girls – oh, I mean women (it’s true, that’s what they’re officially called now, according to the press release), and greater use of the classic Monty Norman Bond theme. But it’s almost like throwing a bone to the Bond purists among us – Skyfall is just too danged serious, and I would never in a million years consider this escapist entertainment. (Yes, you’re probably by now suggesting that those old-time Bonds were realistic for their time, but they weren’t – in fact, many critics felt their silliness rendered them inferior to their Ian Fleming source material.) Even the violence level is stressful here. I know the Bond films have always been violent, but in Skyfall the violence is not just more frequent but also more realistically intense – the sort you’d find in a war movie (in fact, the film’s climax, a full-scale nighttime assault on a Scottish castle, reminded me of the gritty finale of Zero Dark Thirty, in which Osama Bin Laden is killed). Perhaps I’m more sensitive to violence in an age where mass-shootings where 100-plus rounds are unloaded is the norm. Or perhaps the action films are budgeted and technologically-equipped now so as to show greater carnage than before. Probably both.

I mentioned the villain earlier, and he’s played by Javier Barden, employing many of the same creepy nuances he did in his Oscar-winning performance in No Country for Old Men. This time, he uses he uses his vocal mannerisms for chilling effect, flirting with Bond in one scene, callously shooting his love interest in cold blood in the next. He’s the best thing in Skyfall, and it’s probably a mistake to delay his introduction until around the second half of the film. He’s the sort of villain, though, that you want DEAD, not charming the pants off Bond while a gold-powered laser beam inches closer to his privates, or stroking a pussycat while pressing buttons to release trap doors. So in that sense, he’s effective.

Just give him to me in a different movie. Right now, I’m going back to watch You Only Live Twice. And not be stressed out.

Cheers 3.1: “Rebound, Part 2”

Airdate: 9/27/84

A few weeks have elapsed since the stormy breakup of Boston’s picture not-so-perfect couple. Cliff’s vacation absence has made no one’s heart grow fonder, and Norm must resort to desperate measure to get his wife pregnant: sleeping with her. But in the worst shape of all is Sam – the big breakup has set him to drink again, and a worried Coach, who remembers the last time his boss fell off the wagon, goes to Diane for help. She, however, wishes to leave her former beau and all accompanying remnants behind once and for all, but Coach’s grave concern appeals to her benevolent side, even if it does involve man who caused her great pain and heartache.

Sam and Diane’s reunion is deathly silent at first, but soon the mudslinging starts, culminating in a debate over whether Sam threw Diane out or whether she left of her own volition. Her suggestion that he see her psychiatrist friend is refused at first, but Sam reluctantly agrees when he sees that all his bar friends are on Diane’s side on this one. The psychiatrist? Dr. Frasier Crane, who has been at the bar all along, listening to the conversation, and who also happens to be Diane’s new love interest.

Another key, Charles/Charles-penned episode is the first of the Season 3 two-parter. We can safely assume that the Sam/Diane relationship is kaput, and so the introduction of a new love in Diane’s life is all but inevitable. The catch – how to get her back at the bar and part of the Cheers cast once again – seems to be remedied with a forthcoming reconciliation, one that can only occur with Sam in psychological (and chemical) rehab. Kelsey Grammar, whom we’re all now so familiar with as Frasier, has but a few lines at the very end of the episode. For trivia buffs, his first line is “Hello, Sam. I’m Dr. Frasier Crane. I’m sorry I startled you.”

Props to the show for continuing on after the breakup of its two central characters. Up until now this was sitcom anathema, as the worry was lack of chemistry would equal lack of laughs. Clearly not the case as Cheers continued on healthily for nine more seasons.

Cold open: A rare moment of very broad humor. Forlorn Cliff has no one to tell about his vacation but Coach, who runs the blender so loud Cliff barely gets a word in. Frustrated, he yanks Coach’s clip-on tie and tosses it in the blender. Coach uses his sartorial defilement to crack a pun: “Anyone want a Mai Ti?” (Coach’s tie becomes a comic prop later on in the second act.)

Norm’s opener:

First: Coach: “Beer, Norm?” Norm: “You know how to make it sound tempting, you fast talker.”

Second: Coach: “What’ll it be, Normie?” Norm: “A transfusion with a head on it.”

Waltons 7.11: “The Yearning”

Airdate: 12/14/78

A new reverend, Andy March, is rendered homeless when a skunk moves in and proceeds to malodorize the entire premises. Of course, he stays with the Waltons, and starts to get chummy with Elizabeth, who sees the young parishioner as a love interest. Soon enough, someone’s heart gets broken – can you guess whose? Subplot: the Baldwin sisters enlist Erin’s literary finesse to help write their memoirs. During their research, they uncover the shocking truth – their beloved father forbade Emily from seeing her beloved beau, Ashley, and indicated as such in a letter addressed to him. When Emily takes down the portrait of their esteemed patriarch, she finds the letter tucked in the frame behind. The letter impels her to go sit by the tree where they first kissed – and there she finds a ring from him inside one of the tree trunks!

Disposable, cliché-ridden soaper about the pangs of first love, unrequited love. It’s Elizabeth’s turn, and she does the lovelorn well, but really, aren’t we beyond this sort of sudsy material, particularly with a war going on? Well, I can tell you that all this schmaltz is worth enduring for potentially the single-most unintentionally funny line of dialogue in Walton’s history: Emily (about Ashley): “Well one thing’s for certain: he certainly had a way with wood!”

Waltons 7.10: “Day of Infamy”

Airdate: 12/7/78

December 7^th, 1941. As each member of the Waltons clan go their separate ways after church, they are quickly united when word spreads that the U.S. was attacked by Japan at Pearl Harbor, where both Curtis and Jodie Foster have been stationed. The Walton boys each proclaim their allegiance to the country by vowing to sign up for different branches of the military, but John tells them he needs them at the mill – for the time being. When Jim-Bob breaks his promise by signing up at the recruiting office, he returns with the news that he had been turned down – and that Curtis Willard, Mary Ellen’s husband and father of her child, had been killed while giving medical assistance to the wounded. Grandma finds a letter Curt had written to John Curtis, and John reads it aloud for the family to hear, amid many tears.

Final episode for Curt Willard is another heart wrenching Waltons moment, particularly at the end when John reads the letter, an inspirational message, artfully penned by the show’s writers, celebrating the many sentiments, and characters, that make the show itself so very special. FDR’s “Day of Infamy” speech is wisely broadcast in its entirety, with the myriad of reactions from the main and supporting Waltons cast. As is made clear by Hamner’s narration, this is a show not simply about the characters lives during this tumultuous time, but of the real people, the viewers, who can remember where they were and what they doing when they heard the news that changed the world. A series milestone.

I suppose this is in poor taste, but Curt was not necessarily my favorite character, and an overall poor choice to be Mary-Ellen’s hubby. I always thought he was a shleb. (Sorry Curt Willard fans!)

First appearance of Cindy, Ben’s date, who doesn’t realize what all the fuss is about.

No usual family goodnights at the end of this episode – only Mary Ellen going to bed, and turning out the Christmas tree.

Wonder Woman 1.4: The Feminum Mystique, Part 1

Airdate: 11/6/76

A experimental U.S. jet plane is hijacked by the Nazis, but Steve enacts the “Code X” to destroy the plane. Plans to build a new plane are authorized, but its designer is a Nazi spy, and, in tandem with another agent, Captain Radi (John Saxon), starts plotting to capture an even more lucrative prize: Wonder Woman.

Meanwhile, back on Paradise Island, WW’s mom, Queen Hippolyta, wants her daughter to return, so she sends her other daughter, Drusilla, to bring her back. Once in Amerca, Drusilla is a naïve, wide-eyed teenager, but she gets involved in Radi’s dastardly plan when the Nazi kidnaps Colonel Blankenship (as bait to capture WW), and she decides to rescue him after changing into her own Wonder Woman (she recalls seeing how her sister spins). Her life is imperiled when Radi isn’t sure if she’s the real deal, so he decides to use bullets on her to see if she can deflect them with her magic bracelets. Uh oh!

Wild two-parter (the series’ first) sets things up in expectedly taut yet bubble-gummy fashion, with Debra Winger making an impressive debut as the new “Wonder Girl,” replete with bullet-bra and star-spangled tights. Character actor John Saxon plays a good heavy, and makes us forget that he (and countless others) don’t look or sound the slightest bit German.

Camaraderie/chemistry between Diana Prince/WW and her Intelligence Department colleagues is much smoother now, and for once we get through an episode where Steve does not need to be rescued by Wonder Woman!

Great title is a play on the classic Betty Friedan book, which started modern feminism – an apropos choice!